A friend recently told me that things must be going well in Luxembourg since my blog sounds happy and optimistic. I told him that my blog was participating in a ‘lies of omission’ campaign. It’s not that I’m not happy and optimistic, but I haven’t been as open about my struggles or the hard times I’ve had. There isn’t anything too drastic or tough going on in my life, but settling into a new place is difficult. However I’ve felt the need to hide some of this on my blog for a few reasons. For one, nobody wants to read anything that’s all
and nobody wants to be friends with that, either. I know this is a temporary phase that happens when you uproot and replant your life, so I don’t want to give the new people I’m meeting the impression that I’m a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy. I’m Very-nearly-settled Valerie.
You’d think that for someone who moves to new countries as much as I do that I would have this down to a science, nay, an art form. And there is truth to the fact that I’m a skilled mover who knows how to navigate a foreign country. However, no matter how much you plan or know, nothing can make settling in easy. It takes time to get to know a place and feel comfortable there. Nothing can change that. It takes time for ‘people you know’ to become ‘friends.’ Nothing can change that, either. And it certainly takes time for the last place you left (Scotland in this case) to stop feeling like home and the place you currently live to stop feeling like an extended holiday destination. So, despite coming into this with much previous experience, I still find myself (more than usual) thinking
Additionally, there are a few things that may have made this experience a bit more difficult. For one, I possibly felt too prepared. I figured, ‘hey, I’ve done this a million times! You find a grocery store, find a doctor, find the local café with wifi, and you’re set!’ Besides, I’m great at meeting people and making friends, so it would be no time at all before I did that in a new place! Totally forgot the above-mentioned issues, and went from feeling
to feeling
.
The second thing that has made this experience more challenging is that I keep comparing it to the previous times I’ve moved to a new country. But you can’t do that!
It is so easy to compare my settling-in period with that of Scotland, or my volunteer project to that of Belgium, or the funny language with that of the Netherlands (okay, that one is legit, though). But that really is a trap! Those experiences were so different in so many ways, with possibly the biggest alteration being me. I’m such a different person now than I was while commencing my other overseas adventures that the comparison simply does not work. I must keep reminding myself of this because comparing is a natural thing to do. However, what I can take from these previous experiences is the knowledge that adjusting is a process, how I emotionally handle such processes, and that each phase, good or bad, will move into another one.
Right now I’m starting to feel more optimistic about things and am wrapping my brain around staying in Luxembourg for the next 11 months. It’s good to feel like I’m moving from the ‘lies-of-omission’ phase to an openly content one. It’ll be a process, but I’m Very-nearly-settled.
and nobody wants to be friends with that, either. I know this is a temporary phase that happens when you uproot and replant your life, so I don’t want to give the new people I’m meeting the impression that I’m a Debbie Downer or Negative Nancy. I’m Very-nearly-settled Valerie.
You’d think that for someone who moves to new countries as much as I do that I would have this down to a science, nay, an art form. And there is truth to the fact that I’m a skilled mover who knows how to navigate a foreign country. However, no matter how much you plan or know, nothing can make settling in easy. It takes time to get to know a place and feel comfortable there. Nothing can change that. It takes time for ‘people you know’ to become ‘friends.’ Nothing can change that, either. And it certainly takes time for the last place you left (Scotland in this case) to stop feeling like home and the place you currently live to stop feeling like an extended holiday destination. So, despite coming into this with much previous experience, I still find myself (more than usual) thinking
Additionally, there are a few things that may have made this experience a bit more difficult. For one, I possibly felt too prepared. I figured, ‘hey, I’ve done this a million times! You find a grocery store, find a doctor, find the local café with wifi, and you’re set!’ Besides, I’m great at meeting people and making friends, so it would be no time at all before I did that in a new place! Totally forgot the above-mentioned issues, and went from feeling
to feeling
.The second thing that has made this experience more challenging is that I keep comparing it to the previous times I’ve moved to a new country. But you can’t do that!
It is so easy to compare my settling-in period with that of Scotland, or my volunteer project to that of Belgium, or the funny language with that of the Netherlands (okay, that one is legit, though). But that really is a trap! Those experiences were so different in so many ways, with possibly the biggest alteration being me. I’m such a different person now than I was while commencing my other overseas adventures that the comparison simply does not work. I must keep reminding myself of this because comparing is a natural thing to do. However, what I can take from these previous experiences is the knowledge that adjusting is a process, how I emotionally handle such processes, and that each phase, good or bad, will move into another one.
Right now I’m starting to feel more optimistic about things and am wrapping my brain around staying in Luxembourg for the next 11 months. It’s good to feel like I’m moving from the ‘lies-of-omission’ phase to an openly content one. It’ll be a process, but I’m Very-nearly-settled.
xoxo
VB
p.s. Jacob Bloomfield
If change is what you're after I reccomend the book "Days of War, Nights of Love" yet as change requires, it will be difficult to take it in. "Remember: the destructive impulse is also a creative one . . ." And happiness is not a constant state or something to strive for, just a punctual state of being in which more than just "happy" feelings of content, bliss and joy could have a place equally as anger, rage and fury. If people refuse to see further than the facade of a smile they might as well live in the world of tv's, computers and advertisement while people in the real life suffer and should be enraged by certain things that don't work well in our global community.
ReplyDeleteQuite entertaining and very enlightening. You, GO, Girl!
ReplyDelete