All You Need is Love. And Cake.

I just celebrated my 25th birthday, a good time to reflect and take note of where I am in life. However, with my time in Belgium winding down, I've already been doing plenty of self-reflecting. What I've been feeling for a while and what came to an apex on my birthday was love. My life is full of it. It's all about it. Love and faith are my life, and I don't think there's a better place to be than feeling those things.

I have so much love in my life, of so many different kinds. I have the most supportive and giving family, incredible, active friends, and more blessings than I could possibly count. My connections with people are strong right now and valued above all else. It’s been a great experience growing new relationships while I’ve been over here, seeing how beautiful existing yet physically-distant relationships can be, and just feeling love from all around. When it came to March 18, the culmination of all that love came in the form of an outpouring of birthday wishes. I got to hear from so many different people I hold dear in my heart all on one day, wishing me the best. Could there be a better feeling than that?

I feel very blessed to have been over here to see how strong many of my friendships are. If living 6 time zones apart can’t break your connection, if not spending time together for nearly a year can’t sway your involvement in someone’s life, then you know you’ve got a “lifer.” I have many of these and am creating more- if there is a limit to how much love and friendship one person can experience, I must be nearing the line. And, of course, I feel all of this through incredible faith, something that follows me wherever I go and I believe keeps me in tune with what matters (love!)

Now, a sneak peak into the Italy trip through the wonderful day that was March 18…

We woke up in Anacapri, a small town on the island of Capri, with our lovely hostess Luciana bringing me a little birthday cake! It was on a bed of sprinkles that I used for my Nutella on toast. Breakfast of 25-year-old champions! We ate on our magnificent vista overlooking the town and water, and then headed out to see more views via the Villa San Michel. After taking in breathtaking views of the island, we headed up the chairlift to the top of the mountain, passing over local farmers waving and shouting “buongiorno!” and enjoying yet more views of the island on the sunny spring day.

Lunch was a treat! We went to the same restaurant where we had dinner the night before (Luciana sent us…and told us she “prayed we had a good time.”), and before we even entered the restaurant I was greeted with kisses and “happy birthdays!” As soon as we sat down the waiters brought us flutes of champagne to celebrate, and proceeded to bring us some deLIcious lunches. Kaitlyn had the gnocchi with mussels- her favorite meal of the trip (that’s saying something!) We sat out on the terrace by the old town church, watching birds and kids play in the courtyard while we ate. Before we left, I noticed the people at the table behind us were speaking Dutch, so I asked (in Nederlands) where they were from. Gent! We had a whole conversation all about Belgium and Gent and Capri…plus I got to impress Kaitlyn with my mad Dutch skills while in Italy! Getting to speak Dutch certainly added to the greatness of my day.

After lunch we went on a boat tour! I LOVE boats! I am a pisces, I am meant to be on the water. First we visited the famous and unique blue grotto. Talk about stunning. Just look at these pictures- this is the natural color of the water!! Part of the fun was crouching down in the bottom of a little rowboat just to get into the grotto. Hehe, we’re adventurous! The next hour and a half were spent just riding around the island…it was so beautiful, peaceful, and fun. I was smiling so hard the whole time, I laughed out loud just out of sheer happiness.

How else would you follow a boat ride around Capri than with gelato? We went up to Capri town, ate some of the delicious delicacy, and wandered around the area. Not much to see during the off-season, we much prefer Anacapri. So up to Anacapri we returned, where I was able to Skype with my family:) Sitting on the beautiful terrace, enjoying the sunset, talking to my faaaaavorite people in the whooooole world….happy happy waffle!

For dinner we went to a place we had read about in Kaitlyn’s guidebook and it positively lived up to the occasion. We had an appetizer of grilled local cheese, tasted (well, more like devoured) our pasta dishes, savored the local red wine, and I even got to blow out a candle on a Caprese birthday cake! It capped off an absolutely perfect day with good times, good company, good food, and lots and LOTS of love. What more could a girl want? Oh, we watched the West Wing and cuddled when we got back. Now that’s a perfect day!

xoxo

The older and easily fatter,

kw

One Month

Hi Friends,

The original plan was to stay until the beginning of April. I was able to rearrange things in order to stay until the end of May....except my flight. So it seems I will be traveling back to America in one month, as was Plan A. One month left in Belgium? It's a pretty weird feeling.

I love things here, but I'm also ready to go back home. I love how free and liberating it is to be in another country and just have the space and lack of expectations to be myself, to explore. I have really wonderful friends, I love Gent, and my work makes me smile, even when I'm not there. However, I am very ready to be done with my current living situation and to go back home, see my family, my friends, my favorite restaurants, and speak English. I want to not always be on the go, to just relax and enjoy familiarity.

It is very weird to think I'm here for a few days, then in Italy for 9, then Belgium for two weeks, and Holland for nearly a week before I fly home. That is not a lot of time, and there is so much to do! I've only just started making progress with some of the people at work. "Steve" is a guy my age with autism just last week decided he was comfortable having a conversation with me. It used to be like pulling teeth to get him to talk to me, but after a small interaction he approached me and asked me a relevant question pertaining to our conversation. I was stunned! It's reasons like this I'm sad to leave so soon.

But in other news, it turns out I have a herniated disc in my lower back, which explains why I've been in so much pain just walking the past few months. Not having to walk everywhere and having the chance to fully recuperate will be wonderful. It stinks having a medical thing far from home, and the pressures of travel certainly do not help with a broken back.

So here I am...wishing the next month would hurry up and bring me home, and wishing that I had more time here to enjoy this wonderful life I've built. Especially considering how much I have planned for the next month I'm sure time will fly, but right now I'm just at the precipice of that final roller coaster hill, holding my breath and trying to remember to enjoy myself.

Much Love,
kw

The Magnificent Smile of Belgium

As you can tell, I work with some pretty incredible people. What is so phenomenal about many of them is that they are high-functioning and self-aware- in other words, they have a communication disorder, and are able to communicate about it. I am learning a lot and it is always such a treat when I can get to know more about them as people and more about autism.


"Paul" is one of my favorites to work with. He is 49, always nervous, and loves to sing, especially when he hears a phrase that he knows in song. He's always bursting into the funniest songs, from Cher to Nirvana to Frank Sinatra- he cracks me up! We've become friends and it is always fun being with him. What is so funny, and what I hope will help me out after I leave, is that I find myself saying the same things to him that my mom says to me! I can be nervous and obsess over the same thing over and over, and, while different from the topics Paul gets stuck on, the same advice can be applied. I literally hear my mom's words coming out of my mouth! I hope I can remember how I feel when I'm telling these things to Paul and really internalize the advice. What can I say, always listen to mom!

He was diagnosed at age 30 with autism- he said it made him really scared and turned his world upside down. He was in a psychiatric hospital for a while, but he really didn't like living there because there were too many people. They had activities for the residents, but Paul never wanted to go because he was so nervous with so many people. Now he lives in one of the houses in our community with just seven other people. He said that they are all close friends and he really likes living there. While always nervous, he seems happy and relaxed overall, and it is so wonderful to watch him be himself and have people who understand him.

We were talking about me leaving and I asked him if I could take a picture of him to keep with me when I'm back in America. Would that be okay, or would that make you nervous? To my surprise, he said that it would make him very happy if I would take his picture, and he wouldn't be nervous at all. He even clapped with delight. We have an inside joke about his "magnificent smile," since the day after he got his dentures he walked up to me on the bus and declared, "Don't I have a magnificent smile?" I'm so glad I could capture it.

In other good news, "Annie" keeps opening up to me- smiling, conversing with me, and making me feel like I've actually gotten into her world. While she doesn't always remember my name (hey, she gets close!), it's an awesome feeling to see her smile as well.

all smiles,
kw

The (Second) Best Day

If you have not read the blog before this, "The (First) Best Day," you should do that now!

Believe it or not, we had a beautiful, sunny day in London. It was one day out of seven, but it luckily coincided with our day out in London. We enjoyed a hop-on-hop-off bus tour around the city, which was a great way to see all the various areas of town in one day. The bus took us everywhere- from Parliament and Big Ben, to the Royal Palace of Justice, to the South Bank, to Hyde Park, up to the Camden area, and everywhere in between. The best part was hopping off to see Shakespeare's Globe and the Sherlock Holmes Museum! Again, nerdy, nerdy fun!




We went back to London the next day for a cruise on the Thames and a trip to Harrods (for Mom)! Harrods was overwhelming and crowded; Dad and I sat in the cafe downstairs while Mom walked around. I did see their "Egyption escalators"...the place reminded me of Vegas! Just overdone and themed- not my cup of English tea.

What I did find lovely was meeting up for lunch with friends! An old friend we know from a vacation we took about ten years ago met us for lunch in Stratford, and we had a really wonderful time catching up with him and learning more about England and that part of the country. We also met for lunch with my cousin's girlfriend's dad, who I had met in the fall when I came to London for the weekend. The four of us had a fantastic lunch together- my dad even got a (half) pint! These two lunches were easily highlights of the trip- good company, good food, and great conversation!

I was very very very very sad to see my parents go at the end of our trip, but it was much easier than saying goodbye six month ago because this time, I know I get to see them in just a few months. On the train back from London I made this video, which I worked hard on. Please be kind- I'm about as tech savy as an Amish Elder.




I should also mention...while the three of us had a MARVELOUS time, we missed Amanda SO MUCH!!!! It just wasn't complete without her!

xoxo
kw

ps, we were there on Valentines Day...how cute are my parents??

The (First) Best Day

Everyone knows I'm really close with my family, border-lining on obsession. You can only imagine how wonderful it was to spend a week with Mom and Dad after not seeing them for six long months!

As Dad once worked in Gent and Mom had come to visit, they really weren't interested in another trip to Belgium. And I mean I love my adopted country, but spending a week away is a lovely treat. So we headed to England! Home of Shakespeare, Sherlock Holmes, and English speakers (no matter what my dad says, my parents only speak English). We spent seven glorious days together seeing the country and, more importantly, relishing in each others company:) For me, every single day was The Best Day.

Our trip started at Heathrow Airport, but our real adventure began about five miles outside of Heathrow when this happened:



Impressive, right? Don't worry, it didn't stop our week of driving all over the place! We visited Stonehenge, Oxford, Windsor Castle, Stratford-upon-Avon (!!), Cambridge, and of course, London. It was quite a week, and we spent most of our evenings dining in our pjs and watching West Wing DVDs on my computer to make up for all our running around.

Oxford and Cambridge were really great to see- they have very old college buildings, plaques where famous intellects once lived, studied, or discovered things, and a good amount of Indian food. Windsor Castle was incredible and comes highly recommended by the Waffle, especially St. George's Chapel, which holds Henry VIII, Queen Mary, the Queen Mum, and dozens of former Kings, Queens, Princes, Princesses, etc. The only downside (or upside!) is that Mom and I had "I'm Henry the Eighth, I am," stuck in our heads the rest of the day. And Stonehenge? Well, it looks...just like Stonehenge.



My favorite day trip to rule them all? Stratford-upon-Avon, birthplace of Shakespeare. It was overwhelmingly exciting. We saw where Shakespeare was born, where he was buried, and the Royal Shakespeare Company that carries on his legacy. It was good, nerdy fun for a Literature major and season-ticket holder at the Shakespeare Theatre Company in DC. I even worked on my iambic pentameter that day, just for fun.


This post is getting a bit long, so I'll let you ponder pentameter while trying to get Herman's Hermits out of your head as I break this in two.

xoxo
kw

Progress

As I mentioned at the beginning, it sometimes takes people with autism a while to open up. For some individuals, it can even take five months.

“Annie” (middle-aged) barely acknowledged my existence when I first started helping out. For the first month, when I would say hello, the most she would do was turn her head a little or give a little smirk. I knew to let her be and just give her time, to be consistent and friendly. Around the holidays, she started saying hi back- except she would first ask my name, and then say, “Dag, Valerie.” I’ll take it. During this phase and the following knowing-my-name phase, she would give me her smirk in response to other questions, such as, “how are you,” or “how was your weekend?” Hey, progress.

Yesterday something amazing happened. Annie started talking to me- unprompted. I guess she was so excited about her pending birthday that she wanted to tell me all about her birthday dinner. It was so nice to have her talk to me! I even saw her smile: a relaxed, toothy grin. I didn’t know she had teeth! It was such a pleasure to see her walls come down and see a big, natural smile behind them. I asked her if there would be a cake, and if she liked cake…we had a conversation. It was awesome.

Also yesterday, the quiet but very astute “Art” asked me if I knew the Three Stooges (sorry, Dad, "why soi-tenly" doesn’t translate into Dutch). Even though he usually likes to sit alone and rarely likes to talk, he later approached me at the bus stop to ask me which of the Stooges videos were my favorite, and if I knew that they were related, and did I know Shemp. I told him how my father loves the Three Stooges and finds them very funny, and asked Art if he knew Laurel and Hardy. We had a brief conversation about old Hollywood comedy. It was so cool!

I have inside jokes with some of the people I work with. We sit together on the bus and I don’t care that people look at us because we’re having funny conversations or seem different. I love that when the kids see me walking around campus, they get this big, wide-eyed gasp and an excited wave-and-grin to go with it. I am another person whom they’re excited to see, and what better feeling is there in the world?

I feel really blessed to have gotten to know these people, even if it takes half a year just to get a conversation going. That’s six months well spent.

xoxo

kw

The Costa Spain

Many things are an adventure: traveling, life, Space Mountain. I would only name a few people in this category, one of which is my friend Marisa. Originally from Queens and currently teaching English in Spain (where her kids will forever says their 4's like New Yorkers), Marisa is one of the most fun people I have ever known. The opportunity to visit her in Madrid was a no-brainer, especially since I had never seen the Spanish capital and time with my dear and lovely friend was loooong overdue.

Madrid...probably best known for its football team, this city really does have a lot to offer. First of all, as the capital, there are numerous old-style administrative buildings plus the impressive Royal Palace of Madrid, which was built to rival the palaces at Windsor, Versailles, etc. The city's Cathedral is a very large and impressive neo-gothic structure which is beautiful to behold, inside and out. Plus, Madrid is incredibly green- there are huge parks surrounding the city, most of which are used by Madrid's youth in conjunction with the lack of open container laws in Spain. I was very impressed with how easy-going the feel of Madrid is, in addition to having such cultural and national gems. Here are pictures to give a better impression of the city:







This is not why I want to move to Madrid. The reason I want to move to Madrid is much less aesthetic and much more gastronomical. We. Ate. So. Much. Food. It was amazing. We had Indian, Thai, Chinese Vegetarian, Turkish, Israeli, and Mexican. It was so delicious, I had access to types of cuisine I usually crave to no avail in Belgium. Oh, Monday morning before I left I had a Spanish Omelet, since when in Rome, eat eggs. I easily gained a few pounds in Madrid, but that was all a part of experiencing the culture!

However exciting I find Asian food (and trust me, I find it pretty darn exciting), the best part of the weekend was hanging out with Marisa and her friends. Marisa is both a lively and genuine person, meaning she attracts all sorts of fun and good people. Going out with this group in a capital of nightlife was a real treat! We had a great time at the bars- especially the Mexican one where we got to dip into nachos while savoring our margaritas! Spending time with Marisa and her friends was easily the highlight of my trip.

The lowlight? Getting my passport stolen. Honestly, was NOT as bad as it sounds. I mean it kinda sucked, but I didn't really like my picture anyway (I looked orange. Not Posh Spice orange, Oompa Loompa orange. And I hate Oopma Loompas). All I had to do was go to the US Embassy on Monday morning, which was easy since I was already in the capital, and get a temporary passport. At the embassy, they treat US citizens differently than everyone else. It felt like going to a really hot nightclub with a long line and saying, "I'm with Obama." I was in and out of the Embassy in under an hour and a half with a new, albeit three month valid, passport. Total cost? About 70 Euros and the experience of being in a place where everyone understood English. Not too bad.

All in all, another very successful adventure with another very dear friend. Good company, good food, a better passport photo...I'll take those few pounds as the cost of Spain!











xoxo
kw

Learning Autism

A good friend of mine has a brother just a few years younger than us with autism. When it comes to finding a cure, he feels conflicted. He told my friend that by saying there needs to be a cure for autism, it means there's something wrong with him, and he doesn't feel like there is. It is only with this experience that I'm first learning to truly appreciate what he means.

I work with really wonderful adults. I do feel very sad sometimes that they have boundaries which keep them from interacting in society the way average people do, partly because they deserve to have the same experiences, and partly because the rest of us deserve to get to know them. But another part of me thinks that to say there's something wrong with this group is unfair and inaccurate. They're not incomplete people, there's nothing about them that is wrong or bad, and enough of them have told me about their beloved families and pets to prove that we aren't so different. I'm still realizing what this means to me, but for now I just feel so incredibly blessed that I have gotten to know a group of people that most don't get to meet.

With all of my experience, I am often asked my opinion on various autism topics. As the resident expert in my peer group, I always respond with, "I'm not an autism expert, but from what I know..." and I now have something more concrete than that to offer: if you haven't heard the news, the original study saying that vaccines cause autism has been retracted.

Here is an excellent article talking about the latest on autism and the progress that has been happening in the field. It's pretty interesting stuff!

And now for the fun part of the blog- the adorable and hilarious kids. This week I started working with a new group of children, and they are a scream. When Tine introduces me to the kids, she tries to get them to say my name the way I say it instead of the Belgian pronunciation. One kid took this so much to heart that he kept announcing "Vaaaaalerie....Vaaaaaaalerie" over and over again! When one of the kids in his group came late to the art studio, he pointed at me and said, "Vaaaaaalerie!!" He also jumped in shock when I told him I was from America. "That's faaaar!"

Another little guy who I worked with last week told me very matter-of-factly on Wednesday, "I only speak the language I know." Alright, kiddo. Got it.

That's all for now, let me know if you have questions or thoughts on autism- I'm happy to discuss!

xoxo
kw

Veggie Haggis

Having gotten accepted to the Masters of Science in Health Inequality and Public Policy (M-Schipp? Masters in Hipp? H.I.P.P Yeah you know me?) at the University of Edinburgh, I decided a visit to the Scottish capital was imperative. It's tough being me.

Edinburgh is another city with a very rich history. I choose to skip most of it because, well, it's a bit complicated and can mostly be summed up in a few choice Shakespeare plays and Mel Gibson movies. However, the notable residents of the city is an impressive list that includes Sir Walter Scott, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Robert Louis Stevenson, Tony Blair, Alexander Graham Bell, Dolly the Sheep, and, of course, Harry Potter. Yes, Edinburgh is the birthplace of Harry Potter, and thus a very important city for the history of mankind.

So why am I looking at Edinburgh? The MScHIPP program (really, they NEED to get a better name for that) is unique in the world- I haven't come across anything like it and it fits two fields I'm interested in pursuing. Plus, it's a world class university ranked in the top 20 in the world, with former students/alumni including Charles Darwin, Gordon Brown, J.M. Barrie (Peter Pan), Adam Smith, James Clerk Maxwell (theory of electromagetism), and some of the authors listed above. Plus, the city itself has a really great college-town feel to it, is vegetarian friendly, and has many, many guys with accents. What more could a girl need?

I was in Edinburgh for about three and a half days, staying with a girl I know from back home (yaaaaaay Michigan!) I have to say, it was SO much fun being in college again! We went out with her friends a couple times, I met different students from various places studying a variety of things, and we even went to the student center bar for a pub quiz! We saw a local band play at a coffee shop, got amazing Indian food, and I got to wander all around campus at see university buildings and signs for upcoming student events. It was really fun, and got me so excited to go back to school!

Still waiting to hear back from a few other institutions, but I liked both the city and the university of Edinburgh very much! And if I do choose it, I can go from being the Kosher Waffle to the Veggie Haggis! Either way, I'll definitely spend some time there next year:)

xoxo
kw